Monday, 6 July 2015

Maintaining a platonic relationship






For six months I swore that we had a strictly platonic relationship. Everyone thought we were an item but I promised we were “just friends!” Why would they even think that?
Was it because we ate together in the cafeteria at every meal?
Was it how we saved each other a seat at chapel?
Or did they think that because we went surfing, swing dancing and sunset watching together whenever we got the chance?
I giggled at all his humor, his eyes lit up when he saw me coming and we had quite a few inside jokes. But seriously…we were just friends!
I tried to stay in denial because I had recently made a commitment that I wouldn’t date anyone until I felt certain they were “The One”. I tried to believe my own lie until I was gluing together a hand-made Valentine card for him and felt the urge to write “I love you.”
That’s when I had to admit to myself and to him that I did not want a platonic relationship. I wanted him to be my boyfriend. And so it was. That night we admitted our attraction towards each other and made it “official.”
Many psychologists, sociologists and communication experts have done studies and books have been written to answer the question of whether or not a guy and a girl can maintain a platonic relationship.
Platonic, by the way, comes from a view held by the Greek philosopher Plato who advocated “pure, spiritual affection, subsisting between persons of the opposite sex, unmixed with carnal desires, and regarding the mind only and its excellences.” Or, more simply put, a "just friends" status with no romantic feelings.
There is mixed evidence out there as to whether or not two people can maintain a platonic relationship or whether eventually one or both will begin developing more than friendship feelings. Watch this little video to see what I mean. It's hilarious.
Despite the debate, it happens enough that if you want to avoid the often irrecoverable impact it has on the friendship and the awkwardness that accompanies it, here are some steps you can take to stay in the platonic relationship zone and guard yourself from the drama of a premature romantic relationship.

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