Marriage as a Mission

Have you ever thought of your marriage being a mission field in itself? Sure, we all know of mission fields where people go, either on a short term or the long term, to various places throughout the world to share the Good News of Jesus Christ with others. Steve and I, and maybe you, have been on mission’s trips to different locations to tell others of Christ. But what about the ministry and the mission of living Christ within our homes… within our marriages?
A missionary is to live for Christ so purposefully that those who don’t know Him are eventually drawn to Him through the working of the Holy Spirit. The life of a missionary isn’t supposed to detract from the message of Jesus Christ, but to help uncover and reveal His message everywhere they are called to minister.
When you think about it, can’t that also be applied to our homes? Aren’t we called to live for Christ so intentionally that those who are with us will see Christ? And wouldn’t that also include how we live with our spouses —communicating the Gospel with and without words? We’re told in 1 Corinthians 10:31, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
We ask you: Is how you’re living with your husband or wife distorting his or her view of the love of Christ? Does she or he see the glory of God revealed in the way you treat him or her? How do you help to bring God’s Kingdom into your house?

“Does your family see the difference Christ makes when you face a need? What difference does the presence of Jesus Christ make in your life? God wants to reveal Himself to those around you by working mightily through you. He wants your family to see Christ in your each day. God wants to express His love through your life. There’s a great difference between ‘living the Christian life’ and allowing Christ to live His life through you.” (Blackaby)

From the way we see it, God has entrusted each of us who are married, with a mission field that is right in our own homes as we live in covenant together…  as “a cord of three strands“ (See Ecclesiastes 4:12). In truth however, that takes sacrifice on our part. There’s no doubt about it. It isn’t easy to live in loving sacrifice to God and to each other.
We’re told in the Bible as it pertains to marriage that “those who marry will face many troubles in this life“ (1 Corinthians 7:28). It’s inevitable that the mission field within our home will not be an easy one. That’s the way of the cross —it requires sacrifice. We should never forget that, or we’ll miss the message of Christ and miss communicating the message of Christ to each other and those around us.
As author Larry Crabb said in his book, The Marriage Builder,

“Husbands and wives are to regard marriage as an opportunity to minister in a unique and special way to another human being, to be used of God to bring their spouses into a more satisfying appreciation of their worth as persons who are secure and significant in Jesus Christ.”

Are you doing that? Are you cooperating with God, as His colleague, in living out the love of Christ in the way you interact with your spouse? Are you allowing your hands, your feet, and your voice to be His? Are you conveying the heart of Christ in the mission of showing God’s love and the Good News message to your spouse? Are you giving him/her reasons to thank God for your marrying you?
Keep in mind that Christ said, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me“ (See Matthew 25:44-45). And that of course, includes your spouse, because marriage is a living example for all to see of Christ’s love for the church. What you do and do not do for your spouse, you do and do not do for Christ in the mission of your marriage.
A great definition of marriage comes from author Gary Thomas: “Marriage is a man and a woman in partnership on a life-long journey TOWARDS God.” What a mission God has given you in your marriage! Are you helping your spouse in the way you treat him or her, to journey TOWARDS God in his or her spiritual growth, or away from God?
Are you living your mission within your marriage? What about today… have you shown the love of God to your spouse today? Today can be a new beginning if you have lived otherwise yesterday.
We encourage you to pray for your spouse and to pray for yourself that He will show you how to reveal His love THROUGH you to him or her today and everyday for the rest of your lives together FROM THIS DAY FORWARD.
We pray with all our hearts that none of us, who are married, will take this mission lightly and that at the end of our days here on earth, the Lord will greet us with the words, “Well done good and faithful servant!”

Money Problems – Marriage

 

Are you having money problems in your marriage? According to financial expert Ron Blue and his wife Judy, “There’s no such thing as a money problem in marriage.” They insist that “what looks like money trouble in a marriage is almost always symptomatic of something else: a distorted view of money, a lack of understanding about the true purpose for marriage, or a basic inability to integrate the two and communicate effectively with your spouse about finances.”
We want to emphasize the term “almost always” as we discuss this subject though, because we realize that when one spouse (or both marriage partners) loses a job and/or another tragic financial setback comes into play like unexpected medical bills, etc., having enough money to pay the bills BECOMES a problem. Even so, the bigger problem can be the approach that is taken within the marriage to work through the challenges they are facing.
Do you turn on each other and accuse and fight against each other, or do you take a deep breath, pray and then find ways to unite to fight the problems —not each other? Statistics show that “half of all marriages end in divorce —with the majority of these citing ‘money problems’ as the number one factor in the breakup.” That’s pretty scary.
We read an article a number of years ago (sent to us by Smartmarriages.com) titled “Money Control” by J. Taylor that brought this subject to our attention. He wrote:
“A dear friend just told me that he and his wife were going to be filing for divorce after 20 years of marriage. What was the reason for their unhappiness? He says it’s because his wife has spent her way through his inheritance into more than $100,000 in debt. She says he never told her they were in financial trouble; she thought they had plenty of money to pay for everything.
“…The way I see it, they’ve got two things to talk about (in the counseling sessions they agreed to have in order to save their marriage). No matter which one of them is at fault over their financial mess (probably both of them are) —they need to come up with a plan to dig out of it. Whether they get divorced or not, their lifestyle will change. It will become simpler… Once the financial stress is lifted a little, maybe they will be able to focus more on their relationship instead of their financial problems.
“That fits in with the 2nd challenge for them —they need to talk and listen to each other. I’m certain that he told her many times that she needed to watch their budget for the month or something to that effect. He said it often enough to his co-workers. And, I know there were mornings he came to work [angry] because they had been arguing about money.
“His wife needs to listen to him and he needs to listen to her. They each need to set aside their hurt egos and feelings. Their marriage is worth saving —20 years is a long time. And, they have a teenage son.
“When I look into their futures as single people, I don’t see much good from a financial viewpoint. She’ll have custody of their teenager. She won’t be able to get a good paying job without more education or training, and he will have to support 2 households for 10 or more years. Their retirement savings will be split and neither will have enough to live comfortably. It’s enough to support one household —not two. They’re both in their 50’s. He will have to defer retirement if his health permits. She will have to work too. So money is an excuse…  not the real problem.
“I hope they give counseling a chance to help them salvage their marriage. It takes time, opening up to each other, and hard work. I hope they expend as much effort and time on fixing their relationship as they did on avoiding their problems.”
In this time of financial uncertainty throughout the world, it’s especially important for us to look more seriously at the ways we can wisely spend the money God entrusts to our care.
A few years back, Steve had his salary greatly reduced. We were deeply concerned as to how we would be able to make it financially, as well as still help finance Marriage Missions, and dedicate as much time it takes to run the ministry (in light of taking on another job). We made the decision to attack the problem and not each other to prayerfully figure out what needed to be done.
Eventually, as we prayed about it, got advice from others who could help us figure out what to do, we’ve been able to do what needed to be done without damaging our relationship. God has been faithful to meet our every need, including the needs of Marriage Missions.
We realize that some of you have even more serious financial problems than we faced and are facing. We encourage you to face each other, talking and LISTENING to each of your concerns and perspectives to combat the problems —instead of fighting against each other.
Pray, research, and work together to make things work for your marriage financially. We have a lot of articles, resource recommendations and great web site links provided on our web site that can help you.
If you have a spouse that is willing to partner with you in dealing with your finances… that is great! If you want a specific “Prayer for Finances” to use as a guideline, you can click onto the following link which will take you to the web site for Christian Marriage Today. To do so, please click HERE.
And if your spouse is willing to PRAY, listen to God and other godly counselors on this, and work together… that is even better. Working together on this will be the most helpful.
God’s word tells us “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work… Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken“ (Ecclesiastes 4:9 and Ecclesiastes 4:12). Of course, the third strand is God. Don’t underestimate how much stronger you are with God helping you!!!
And even if your spouse is uncooperative, you can still pray and do things as God guides you. He will make sure your needs are taken care of, even if you have a spiritually disobedient spouse fighting against you.
“The point is not how much or how little you have; it’s how you perceive and handle the resources God gives you” (Ron Blue).
It’s our prayer that you will work together as a team to handle whatever comes your way with prayer and care —giving the Lord first place in your lives. Our love is with you as together we work to make our marriages the best they can be with the Lord’s guidance.

Marriage Tip and a Few Laughs

This will be a little bit different for a Marriage Message, but we think you’ll enjoy it and will find it helpful in some way or another.
First, we will give you a Marriage Tip from the ministry of Mark Gungor Laughyourway.com, who has a great marriage ministry. Check out his web site if you can. He’s got some great stuff there. Here is his “Better Marriage Tip” for husbands:

“Gentlemen, let me have your attention! I am about to give you the single most sought after pearl of wisdom that men have craved since God made a woman out of Adam’s ribs. I’m going to tell you what a woman really wants. This is particularly significant because most women don’t even know what they want. They know they want something, but most have no idea exactly what that something is. They sense an inner longing, an inner need. They may not know how to articulate it, but they feel it desperately.
“What a woman wants —what she is longing for in her deepest heart of hearts is simply this: she wants to be chosen. For a woman, the whole of life is like a junior high-school dance where she stands alone thinking to herself ‘I want to dance.’ But what she really means is ‘I want somebody to choose me.'”

So our question to you men is: “Do you show your wife in big and small ways… in spoken as well as unspoken ways by how you treat her, that you choose her and that you love her?”
And the same goes for you wives. It isn’t just wives that want to feel chosen. Husbands want to know that despite the way they do this or they don’t do that, despite their faults and all you have that is tugging at you (including children), you choose them.
Look for ways to show your spouse that you choose him or her above all others. Even if you don’t think he or she deserves it because of negative things that are happening in your marriage, show your love “as unto the Lord.” Be God’s colleague in loving your spouse all year round. It might surprise you that as you do this, some marriage problems might just disappear!
And now for a laugh! There’s no argument that men and women communicate differently and often hear things differently. Here’s a great example of that concept that we found at Jokesclean.com. It’s titled To Be Six Again.

“You really have to give this guy an A+ for effort. …George was a thoughtful husband. He wanted to give his wife something special for her birthday which was coming up soon. As he sat on the edge of the bed, he watched his wife turning back and forth looking at herself in the mirror. ‘Reta,’ he said, ‘What would you like for your birthday?’ His wife continued to look at herself and said, ‘I’d like to be six again.’
“George knew just what to do. On the big day, he got up early and made his wife a bowl of Fruit Loops (a sugared cereal). Then he took her to an amusement park where they rode all the rides. Five hours later, Reta’s stomach felt upside down and her head was reeling. Never-the-less, George took her to McDonald’s and bought her a (children’s) Happy meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Next, it was a movie and popcorn, soda and her favorite candy.
“As Reta wobbled into the house that evening and flopped on the bed, George asked her, ‘Well, Dear, what was it like to be six again?’ Reta looked up at him. Her expression changed. She said, ‘I meant my dress size!'”

Here’s another joke… hoping it will get you in a better mood for Valentines Day. But I’ll put in a disclaimer first. The examples below are generalized. We realize there are exceptions to what is cited. We get that. But don’t get hung up on specifics that are different than in your marriage. Even if you laugh because it hurts, hopefully the Bible verse will apply, “Laughter is as good medicine.” The following also comes from Jokesclean.com:

Differences Between Men and Women

Names: If Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Susan, Clair and Barbara. … If John, Brad, Tony and Daniel go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.
Bathrooms: Yes, communication between men and women can be difficult. That’s because words have different meanings for men and for women. Our Womanese dictionary will help men better understand what women mean and save a lot of heart ache.
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, and a towel from [a favorite hotel]. … The average number of items in a woman’s bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them.
Arguments: Women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Cats: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women are not looking, men will kick cats.
Future: A woman worries about the future —until she gets a husband. …A man never worries about the future —until he gets a wife.
Success: A successful man is one who makes more money than can be spent by his wife. …A successful woman is one who can find that man.
Marriage: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. …a man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
Dressing Up: A woman will dress up when she goes shopping, empties the garbage, answers the phone, waters the plants, gets the mail and reads a book. …A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Natural: Men wake up looking as good as when they went to bed. … Women will somehow deteriorate during the night.
Children: A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite foods, fears and dental appointments. …A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Thought for the Day: Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing.

One Wins So Both Lose – Marriage

Years ago, I used to think it was important to “win” every argument that occurred between my husband and me. I was sure that he needed to see my point of view —that he was wrong and I was right —that I had the answer to the RIGHT way (or the “Wright” way) things should be handled around our home and in our relationship.
Sadly, in my arguments with Steve, it would appear that I lived by the motto of “take no prisoners.” In situations where we disagreed, I worked hard to persuade him to see the “errors of his ways” and make changes to my way of thinking. How self-centered, self-serving, and foolish! It’s embarrassing to even confess this to you because of the pride and arrogance involved.
In more recent years, the Lord has revealed to both of us the importance of compromise and changing the attitude of “my way is the right way.” Now, I’m not talking about situations where a spouse is in some way being deceptive. In those types of conflicts, there can be no compromise. But in other types of disagreements, if one person “wins” an argument where the other partner feels they significantly “lost” in some way, BOTH lose! And the marriage relationship loses as well. Ours did for a long time until we approached matters differently.

“In any kind of significant relationship, you can’t win unless the other person also wins. So in your own best interest, you have to make sure that he or she wins. For that same reason, the other person has to make sure that you win in some way. The only alternative is that you both lose.
“When you choose to enter into a significant relationship with another person, you’re also choosing to become a member of a team. All relationships involve choice. You can choose whether that team is going to succeed or fail. You decide whether it brings you pain or delight. It’s your choice. Members of a team win together, or they lose together.” (From: “Teamwork” — Devotional  from the Smalley Relationship Center)

I now realize that when I would be so head-strong to “win” an argument, we became competitors instead of partners in our marriage. I acknowledge that there are certain times when it’s important for a partner to change his or her behavior in some way, for example if a spouse is spending too much time away from home, or he/she is thoughtlessly spending money —forgetting that BOTH spouses are effected by such behavior. But even in cases like these, there is usually some compromise that can be made (except in a situation where deception is involved).
If you feel your spouse is spending too much time at work or with his or her friends, it may be time for a compromise. (We have an article on our web site in the “Assorted Marriage Problems” section titled “Friendships and How They Influence a Marriage” that could help you with this.)
If your spouse’s spending habits are causing problems, then you may need to discuss ways to release at least a little money so each partner has some amount they can freely spend. (We have articles and web site links provided in the “Marriage and Finances” section our web site that might help with this as well.) In each situation, it’s a matter of looking for “win/win solutions” to your problems.
We’re told in the Bible to “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own personal interests, but also to the interests of others“ (Philippians 2:3-4). Finding a mutually agreeable solution to your disagreements does just that. It’s a way of resolving conflicts so BOTH partners “win” and feel listened to, understood and validated.
Dr Gary Smalley, from the video series “Secrets to Lasting Love” explains:

“The goal for finding a workable and mutually satisfying solution is to discover one that those involved feel good about. We call this a win/win solution. The main rule for finding a win/win solution isn’t to finalize anything until BOTH individuals in the argument have been heard, understood and feel valued by each other.”

One way this can be done is when:

• One spouse states in a respectful manner without being interrupted, what they feel in about a certain situation.

• Afterward the other spouse repeats what they think that spouse said —re-clarifying until the other spouse is sure they’ve been understood.

• They then switch places so the other spouse speaks without interruption about their feelings over the situation.

• The other spouse then repeats what they thought they heard, re-clarifying until the other spouse is sure they’ve been understood.

Dr Smalley then explains,

“After sharing and having your feelings and needs understood, many times, the solution is obvious. However, sometimes it’s not apparent to everyone. When two people get into an argument, usually they have their own solution to the problem.
“But a win/win solution is when both individuals brainstorm several additional solutions by letting them go like balloons up in the air. At first, you don’t evaluate the possible solutions. After all ideas are ‘up in the air’ then both individuals evaluate and determine if there’s a solution that they both like. They leave their original impasse, and find another answer that they both agree is the best solution to their problem. Thus, they reach a win/win resolution.”

I know this could seem like a simplistic way of solving problems and a bit awkward. But believe us when we tell you that it works. And eventually it isn’t awkward at all. It becomes a very natural way to resolve problems between you. And it’s freeing as well, because there is less of a chance of being misunderstood and feeling unheard. Plus, you reach solutions that both of you decide you can live with. And doesn’t that make it worth it? It’s a “marrying” of ideas!
What we’ve given you above is just thumb nail sketch of how to resolve conflict so BOTH win and as a result, so does your marriage. If you want more information on this method you can go to the web site for Gary Smalley  and put “Win win Solution” in their search engine. Plus, we have more ideas for helping you to resolve conflict on our web site in the “Communication Tools” section.
We hope you will take advantage of all that Marriage Missions makes available for your use. Our prayer is that God will use this ministry to help your marriage become the best it can be to the glory of God!

Movies and Staying Connected – Marriage

“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight“ (Philippians 1:19). And that is our hope for you —that you’ll continually explore new ways to increase your love connection with each other in your marriage in “knowledge and depth of insight” otherwise, you’re in danger of drifting apart in your relationship.

“It’s possible to be married to someone for 35 years and still not know them because you never take the time to explore the deepest recesses of their heart” (Dr David Jeremiah). Being married and living in the same house doesn’t equal knowing each other deeply. You’d think it would, but life has a way of shoving us apart unless we make the intentional effort to stay connected.

Before marriage, you spent quality time with your spouse which helped you to fall in love with them in the first place. So why not keep doing what it takes to CONTINUE in your love with each other? If you don’t continually do what it takes to connect with each other in meaningful ways, your relationship is in danger of becoming stagnant.
And we don’t mean just going somewhere together occasionally but never really talking WITH each other. Too often married couples fall into the bad habit of talking AT each other rather than WITH each other. And that’s cause for trouble!
Recently, we’ve given you a variety of suggestions in the Marriage Messages for how to stay connected in marriage. We’ve given you the top ten reasons for “Dating Your Spouse”, the “22 Minute Date Idea”, the “10 Second Kiss Idea” (which you can find in Marriage Message #26), “Marriage Maintenance Measures” as well as other ideas. And you can find even more ideas in the “Romantic Ideas” section of this web site. Plus, we have articles posted on the web site for those of you who are geographically away from your spouse.
But now we’d like to give you another idea to help you connect, and that is by watching movies together and discussing different aspects of the movies. Make it a fun and informative time as well —getting to know more about each other through this avenue of connecting. We’ve found a number of tools that could help you in this.
Recently, we mentioned that the movie Fireproof has a wonderful pro-marriage message. It’s now for sale on DVD. There is also a book that goes along with the movie called “The Love Dare” that we believe can help your marriage as you dare to love each other in ways that will help your relationship to grow.
Plus, we have “Fireproof Discussion Pages” posted on our web site in the Communication Tools section to use as an additional way to help you connect. Even if you never see the movie (which we hope you can and will), the Discussion Pages could still help you in your marriage.
There is also a “Movie Discussion Guide” (from Smartmarriages.com) for the movie “The Story of Us” starring Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer. It provides excellent discussion questions designed to give couples deeper insights into their relationship.
We must warn you though, that although the movie is very pro-marriage in its content, it has quite a bit of profanity in it. We found it difficult to get past the profanity, but we’re glad we did because the message of the movie together with the helpfulness of the discussion guide is truly something that could help couples work through issues. Again, you will benefit the most if you see the movie, but the Discussion Guide itself makes some great points.  
And for those of you in the U.S. and Canada and other parts of the world that can view American movies, you could find the following web sites helpful in guiding you so you know more about the contents of the movies you could watch (to know if you want to view them on your date nights):

• Pluggedinonline.com — Their mission as a Focus on the Family publication is to equip adults, parents, youth leaders, and ministers with essential tools that will enable them to understand, navigate and impact the culture in which they live.

• Christianitytoday.com/movies — This award-winning website is devoted to film reviews, interviews and commentary, written from a biblical perspective. Their mission is to “inform and equip Christian moviegoers to make discerning choices about films through insightful reviews and interviews, educated opinion, and relevant news — all from a biblical world-view.”

• Movieguide.org — This is a ministry dedicated to redeeming the values of the mass media according to biblical principles, by influencing entertainment industry executives and helping families make wise media choices.

• Crosswalk.com/movies — while this web site is not primarily dedicated to movie reviews, they are a great resource on many levels (and this part of their web site deals with movies). They are a religious corporation dedicated to bring glory to God by building up the Church.

• Christiananswers.net/spotlight/home.html — The primary goal of this web site is to provide accurate, biblical answers on a wide variety of questions asked by Christians and non-Christians. This part of their web site deals with movies and DVD’s.

• Christianity.about.com/od/christianmovies/Christian_Movies_and_Christian_Movie_Reviews.htm This is a Christian movie resource page with Christian movie reviews, interviews with Christian actors, favorite Christian movies and top Christian movie picks and more.

But whatever you do, be careful of what you view. The greatest guide you can get is what the Bible tells us. “I will set before my eyes no vile thing“ (Psalm 101:3). 1 Corinthians 6 tells us to “Flee from sexual immorality.“
Plus, Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart“ (Matthew 5:27-28). In other words… stay true to each other and abstain from viewing that which brings another person visually or physically into your relationship. Connect with your spouse and not with anyone else!

Sexual Addiction - Misconceptions To Avoid

Misinformation about addiction is another cause of failure
Knowing how to approach the problem is a necessary ingredient for success. Knowing what is not true about the problem can be more important. Since we live in a media-driven world, you will be bombarded with mistaken ideas about addiction for a long time to come. You need to be aware of them so that your attempt to overcome sex addiction is not hindered by misconceptions.
Let's discuss some of the more popular ones.
Myth: Positive addictions are good for you:
There is no such thing as a positive addiction because all addictions are self-destructive.
Myth: Certain substances are addictive:
This is probably the biggest myth of all.
In fact, your use of a substance *might* become addictive. For instance:
-After surgery many patients are allowed to self-administer morphine. Morphine is the medical form of heroin, and just as powerful. Yet most people who rely on morphine after surgery don't get addicted to it.
-Tens of millions of people smoked marijuana. You might be one of them. Relatively few use it to the point of abuse.
-Most people experimented with alcohol. You may have. Few became alcoholics.
-Millions of people experimented with cocaine, crack and other hard drugs. Maybe you did. Relatively few became drug addicts.
The difference between the person who becomes addicted and the person who doesn't has nothing to do with the substance. The difference lies in the choice each person makes regarding the use of the substance. Look at your own life. You made choices about substance abuse.
Substances don't take you over and make you act addictively any more than:
-Books make you read.
-Cars make you drive.
-Water makes you thirsty.
Myth: An addiction is a moral failing:
Morality and addiction are two different phenomena. For instance, molesting a child is much more of a moral issue than an addictive one. A person with an overeating addiction is not immoral, just someone with a problem.
Myth: Addictions are hereditary:
Some "scholars" claim there's an alcohol gene that makes people become lifetime drunks. Reality proves them wrong.
There are millions of people who have alcoholic parents and do not get addicted to alcohol or drugs.
Millions of people get addicted to alcohol and/or drugs whose parents never abused either.
Myth: Addictions are caused by sneaky advertising and evil corporations. Supposedly:
-Advertising causes people to smoke and drink.
-Pornography causes people to act sexually addictive.
-Movies cause people to use drugs.
These arguments assume that you have no free will, that you are merely a product of the media marketplace. So, let's look at a few facts:
-Tens of millions of people were addicted to smoking and alcohol in the former Soviet Union and there was no advertising allowed for either.
-There are millions of sexually addicted people who have no interest in pornography. They prefer the real thing or to use their own imagination.
-Drug use was widespread long before Hollywood showcased it.
Addictions are not caused by the marketplace; they arise from choices a person makes to escape dealing with the demands of real life.
Now that we've gotten some of the myths out of the way, let's discuss real symptoms of sex addiction.

 

Sexual Addiction - Why People Become Addicted

Brian engaged in three sexually addictive behaviors: 1) compulsive masturbation, 2) addictive use of pornography, and 3) frequenting massage parlors.
He was also an alcoholic. Through my counseling he learned that it did not matter whether he drank beer, wine or hard liquor, whether he drank at home, out in public, on the weekend, or during lunch. He needed to treat all drinking behaviors the same.
 Unlike alcohol - all sexually addictive behaviors are not equal.
Most people approach sex addiction as if it were alcohol because the Twelve Step Program is so popular. Fortunately, you now have a better approach. Let's refine it further and come up with a definition of addiction that can be applied to both alcohol abuse and sex addiction, as well as any other addiction:
An addiction is an *activity* or a *substance* a person uses to *avoid* dealing with *uncomfortable* thoughts or feelings that need to be faced.
Brian became addicted to alcohol because:
-Rather than deal with a tense social situation, he drank to relieve anxiety. His genes didn't make him do it. Neither did his parents, society, or a chemical imbalance. Brian chose to do it.
-Rather than look for answers to his bouts of depression, he forgot them by drinking. It was his choice.
-When he felt a lack of confidence in a new situation, he used alcohol to temporarily remove his self-doubts. No one put a gun to his head; he did it all by himself.
-He got addicted to sex the same way. Failure, anger, guilt, loneliness - any uncomfortable feeling - could be removed through fantasy and sex. He chose to use sex as a drug. Sex is not a disease and neither is sex addiction. Choice is not a disease either. It is a decision between two or more options. Brian chose to get high on sex rather than face life.
 No one gets genuine, long-term pleasure from addiction.
They get what Brian got: a temporary, illusionary relief from uncomfortable feelings.
There's a three-stage process in becoming addicted:

1.      In the early stage, the person genuinely believes that his/her addiction causes pleasure.

2.      In the middle stage, the person questions whether or not the addiction is pleasurable.

3.      In the final stage, the person realizes the addiction creates more pain than pleasure, yet he or she continues acting addictively.

Beverly, Brian's wife, asked me, "Brian knows he should have never started his addictions. Why does he keep on doing them? Why doesn't he stop?"
If you're addicted, I'm sure you've asked yourself that question many times. The answer is:
If overcoming addiction is not approached correctly, you will probably act addictively for the rest of your life, even though you know the addictive behavior is disastrous.
People don't feel hopeless about overcoming addiction until they fail at stopping. If you're feeling hopeless, let's use your failures as an opportunity to learn.
Look at your past experiences and you'll see that you failed at overcoming addiction because the approach you used relied on repression. Most people don't even realize they're repressing, and I'm sure you didn't realize it either.
If you're not addicted, and you doubt your partner's sincerity about wanting to stop, ask him or her the following questions:
-"If you found a positive, realistic way to stop acting addictively, would you use it?"
-"If you were required to work very hard, and then it got easier and easier to stay free of your addiction, would you work at it?"
If your partner answers "yes" to both questions, don't give up.
If you have ever tried to stop acting addictively, or you're close to someone who has not overcome their addiction, read through the list below carefully. It will identify the major reasons people do not overcome addiction.
You'll see it's not because of stupidity, laziness, or self-destructive tendencies. It's the ineffective ideas that have been presented by the conventional, licensed therapists and the Twelve Step Program.
-Trying to stop by repressing addictive desires. When the repressed desires exploded, the addicted person had no way of dealing with the explosion.
-Relying on some form of behavior modification that resulted in a temporary solution but did not address the underlying addictive feelings.
-Using medication that caused side effects worse than the addiction and/or repressed the addictive desire
-Allowing themselves to be pushed into stopping, then feeling angry at whoever pressured them into stopping.
-Becoming depressed about stopping because of poorly developed motivation.
-Wasting precious time and energy analyzing the childhood rather than dealing with the addiction in the here and now.
-Plunging into other addictions and then going back to the old addiction to escape the new addictions.
-Accepting the nonsense that addiction is a disease, and thus believing that an addicted person is not responsible for his or her actions.
-Expecting a Higher Power to do the work. Whatever your beliefs, I know there's one belief that applies to all religions: "God helps those who help themselves." The Twelve Step Program does not apply it. The program insists that you are not capable of handling an addiction on your own. Read their literature and you will see it for yourself. (Later on I will explain how the program generates its relatively few successes.)
Brian and Beverly decided that working with me would be their last attempt to build a good marriage together. Today they are a happy couple. It wasn't easy. Healing a relationship and overcoming sex addiction never is. The rewards are always worth it.
Most couples who lose marriages to addiction do not have to put themselves, their children, and their families through the pain of divorce.
Most people who act addictively today feel hopeless about overcoming their addiction. They are not hopeless. You are not hopeless. You have free will. You just need to know how to use it.
If there is any message to take away from this book, it's this:
Given the correct approach, most people will gladly face their feelings and choose to stop acting additively.

How To Be In Control Of A Sexual Addiction

Approaches based on trying to get rid of the desire rather than facing the desire fail.
Conventional, licensed therapy, The Twelve Step approach, and religion offer their own versions of repression.
The Twelve Step approach relies on conscious, deliberate repression by asking a Higher Power to remove the addictive desire.
Whatever your beliefs, asking a Higher Power to remove your desire is the same as asking a Higher Power to repress the desire for you.
Religion's attempt to deliberately repress is similar to Twelve Step's because the addicted person asks the deity he believes in to rid him of his addictive desire. But religion goes one step further. It tends to morally condemn you if you experience a "wrong" desire.
The most popular form of conscious, deliberate repression is promoted by conventional, licensed therapists. Only they don't call it repression. They call it behavior modification.
The idea behind behavior modification is to eliminate temptation. It's based on the notion that certain "triggers" cause you to act addictively. By modifying your behavior to avoid temptation, you supposedly avoid the "triggers."

---

When Karl felt lonely he would spend hours masturbating with pornography and engaging in phone sex and online sex chats. His conventional, licensed therapist decided that Karl's "triggers" were: a) feelings of loneliness, b) the Internet, and c) the telephone.
Karl was told to: a) schedule social activities for his free time so that he would not have the opportunity to feel lonely, b) get rid of his Internet connection, and c) put call blocking on his phone.
Karl did not want to lose his friends on the Internet who shared his interest in sports. So the therapist agreed that Karl could keep the Internet connection if he used porn-blocking software; a friend Karl trusted was given the password.
Karl scheduled time with volunteer organizations. He also went to singles parties, friends' houses, sporting events, and he joined a dating service.
His schedule was so filled with new activities, it felt like he had a second job. That was fine with him. He wasn't acting sexually addictive; he was meeting new people and he was too busy to feel lonely.
Karl's experience is similar to that of most people who try behavior modification. In the beginning it can work because the excitement of doing new activities can repress old addictive feelings. Then things begin to change.
After months of keeping a schedule the equivalent of two full-time jobs, Karl was exhausted.
He was getting bored with the dating service.
The volunteer organizations were disorganized and there was too much bickering at the meetings.
He saw the same old people at the singles events.
He still felt lonely.
He felt resentful toward his friend who had the password to the porn-blocking software. He also developed a strange attraction to public phone booths.
His therapist told him that his resentment and loneliness were related to traumas in the past that Karl had not yet uncovered. He was told that the public phone booths were "triggers" and that he should avoid places that had too many of them.
Karl dug further into his childhood. He became more depressed and lonely.
Then, on a rainy Friday afternoon, as Karl described it, "something snapped."
Karl didn't know it then, but what snapped was the repression.
He grabbed his credit card, went into a public phone booth and ignited a phone sex binge.
Then he went home, called up his friend and demanded the password. His friend gave it to him.
Karl spent the weekend masturbating, surfing porn sites, and joining online sex chats.
Karl went through what I call "the repression-binge cycle." He repressed for as long as he could. Then he went on a binge to make up for all the repression he suffered.
When Karl told his therapist what he had done, his therapist told Karl to find a Twelve Step group to assist in the therapy. While researching the Twelve Step program, Karl found my website.
Today Karl's addiction is overcome and he is happily married.

---

You are not a laboratory rat that gets "triggered." You can face any temptation and overcome your addiction.
Because my clients don't rely on behavior modification - they use the Volitional Honesty approach you're learning - they can deal with any tempting situation. A few examples:
-Lewis had carried on a hot affair with a co-worker. On his first day attempting to stop his addictive behavior, the co-worker made a pass at him. He felt turned on.
He wanted to remain faithful to his wife, but he was very, very sexually attracted to the other woman.
He didn't repress his sexual attraction. He didn't call for help. He didn't run out of the office. He didn't treat the woman abusively. He politely turned her down and felt wonderful doing it.
-Boris opened his e-mail. Suddenly, he was faced with porn spam and he became sexually excited.
He didn't beat himself up for feeling excited. He didn't turn off his computer and leave the room. He didn't get down on his knees and pray. He didn't pop a pill. He let himself experience the addictive desire fully and completely and chose not to act on it. The desire subsided on its own.
-Ted used sexually addictive fantasies to get himself aroused so that he could make love with his wife. Using the approach in this ebook, he didn't attempt to repress the fantasies.
Now he makes love with his wife free of addictive fantasies and both of them enjoy their sex life even more.
-Chris tried to avoid anything that "triggered" his pedophilic desires. He went to Twelve Step meetings twice a week and he saw a conventional, licensed therapist once a week. Nothing helped.
Then he found my website. He printed out everything on it and read it closely before he called me.
In our first discussion he said, "You mean I don't have to push the thoughts out of my mind?" I told him, "Your attempt to push them out makes it impossible for you face them. The mind needs to experience its own emotions so that they can be coped with."
He dropped his Twelve Step meeting and his conventional, licensed therapist.
I taught him how to experience an addictive desire fully and completely. Then I taught him how to choose whether or not to act on it. Every step of the way he told me, "This is the exact opposite of everything I was told."
Chris no longer lives in terror of acting on pedophilic desires.
He does not repress pedophilic feelings. He does not pray that they be removed. He is not dependent on prescription medication. He does not avoid the Internet.
Walking down the street and seeing an attractive child will occasionally bring on a pedophilic desire. He is not afraid of it. He is in complete control of his actions and feels better letting the desire go unsatisfied.
He is in control and he has the ability to keep that control for the rest of his life.
-Before you attempt to overcome sex addiction, you need to identify every possible avoidance and substitution you might resort to. The most common ones for sexually addicted people are:
Increased sex with your partner as a substitute for addictive sex.
Increased activities and projects to keep your mind off sexually addictive desires.
Going to sleep early to avoid late-night sexually addictive desires.
Staying home to avoid being exposed to tempting situations.
Going out to avoid temptation at home.
Eating more food to smother addictive feelings.
Drinking to forget; using drugs to forget.
Later on we'll discuss how to experience an addictive desire fully and completely and how to choose whether or not to act on it.
First, we need to spend a few minutes talking about how to find a competent advisor for those of you who will want help.

Work With The Mind To Stop Sex Addiction

 

For long-term success you need to be able to identify the signs of repression For two years George did not experience any sexually addictive desires. During that time he stopped all his sexually addictive behavior. Then, one afternoon he went on a sex addiction binge at a massage parlor.

Malcolm did not act sexually addictive for a month; the few sexually addictive desires he experienced he pushed out of his mind, easily. He told his wife his problem was over. A week later he watched three porn videos.
Steve forced sexually addictive desires out of his mind by following his therapist's advice. He was so happy he told everybody at his group therapy meetings to follow the doctor's orders. But then Steve stopped going to group because he had returned to his sex addiction.

If you ask people who act addictively about their past attempts to stop, they'll tell you that when they stopped:

·         they had no desire, or

·         the desire was easy to get rid of, or

·         it was difficult to get rid of.

Then ask them, "If you didn't have an addictive desire, or you were able to get rid of it, why did you go back to your addiction?"
Sometimes you will hear an answer similar to what George told me: "I went along fine for months, no desire, no urge, not even thinking of it. Then, one day out of nowhere, it just hit me. I had to do it."
Others will convey Malcolm's experience: "I fought it when it happened and it seemed easy. Then it got worse and worse. I couldn't take it any more. The desire was too strong."
Some people will remind you of Steve: "I felt good about myself. The desire would come and I would make it go away. It was mind over matter. But I got weak. I couldn't get the desire out of my mind."
Look closely and you'll observe three progressive phases in people's failed attempts to stop addictive behavior:

1.      The person gets rid of the addictive desire.

2.      The desire returns days or even years later.

3.      He resists the returning desire until he can't fight it any longer. Then, since he has no way of coping with the desire, he returns to addictive behavior.

This three-phase experience illustrates repression.
It is the most common reason most people don't overcome any addiction, especially sex addiction.
If you've ever attempted to stop any addictive behavior, you'll probably find some of these symptoms familiar:
-Living in fear of experiencing an addictive desire you can't get rid of.
-Resorting to other addictive behaviors, including overeating, drinking, drug use, smoking, workaholism, compulsive exercise, or obsessive sexual activity.
-Excruciating pain when you try to push the desire out of your mind.
-Feeling as if a ticking time bomb of addictive desire in your subconscious will explode any minute.
-Anxiety, depression or anger when you experience a strong, long-lasting addictive desire.
-Feeling afraid to go outside, turn on the TV, read a book, listen to the radio, or even answer the phone because your addictive desire might be "triggered."
-When the desire strengthens, you feel you are bad or weak. When it subsides, you're afraid it will strengthen again.
-Every day feels like a never-ending losing battle to control a swarm of uncontrollable urges.
In my attempts to stop smoking, I went through just about every one of these grueling symptoms. I kept going through them until I developed an approach that did not rely on repression.
I wasn't sure what the results of my new approach would be, I just knew that repression had failed me too many times.
When I applied my method I was amazed to discover that I could experience my addictive desires without climbing the walls. That was a first for me.
The second welcome change was that - on my own - I could choose whether or not to smoke. I didn't have to rely on behavior modification gimmicks, support groups, a Higher Power, prayer or self-condemnation.
I overcame my addiction by doing something you've done many times in other areas of your life. It's something you know from your own experience works; you just haven't known how to apply it to your addiction.
What I did was to teach myself how to face my addictive desire head-on - I didn't have to bury it or hide from it -then I taught myself how to choose whether or not to act on it.
Look at the accomplishments in your life.

·         When you tried to hide from a problem, you made it worse.

·         If you didn't have a correct method of making a decision, your chances of making the wrong one were very high.

·         You achieved a goal when you faced the problem honestly and decided in a correct manner what to do about it.

I took these simple principles and applied them to overcoming addiction.
I knew I had discovered something so important, it could change my life and the lives of millions of addicted people. But getting that message out took another 25 years. So let me share with you what I have observed since 1975 about repression and how addiction is successfully overcome.

---

I define repression as:
an attempt to consistently exclude from consciousness a thought or feeling you decide is threatening.
If you conclude that a thought or feeling is not good for you, that it is bad, that it is a threat, your first reaction will be an attempt to consistently keep it out of your conscious mind. The attempt to continuously keep it out is repression.
Repression occurs two ways:

1.      You consciously try to drive the desire out of your mind, and/or

2.      Your subconscious automatically keeps it out.

The most common form of repression is subconscious.
The symptom of subconscious repression is:
At the beginning of the attempt to stop, the desire seems to have gone away or lost most of its power.
If you ever attempted to overcome addiction and failed, you probably went through a phase in which you truly felt like the addictive desire had left you or had lost most of its power.
Although you sincerely believed you had triumphed over your addiction, what you were experiencing was subconscious repression. You did not know it and no one told you.
If you were in conventional, licensed therapy, a Twelve Step Program or a religious approach, you were probably congratulated for driving the desire out of your mind.
I doubt anyone said, "You're walking around with a repressive time bomb that can explode without warning. When it explodes, you will most likely return to addictive behavior."
Let's take a closer look at repression to understand how this happens.
The mind abhors repression because:
-The mind relies on "emotional accounting":
If you compulsively watch TV, your mind needs to be able to identify that you spend too much time in front of the tube. If you are enthusiastic about photography, your mind needs to figure out if your hobby is an emotional asset or an obsessive liability.
If you love your family but spend your evenings watching TV and digitizing photos, your mind is designed to tell you, "Hey, you're putting too much time and effort into TV and photography and not enough into the people you love. The return on investment of your time, effort, and emotional energy is lousy. You need more emotional profit in your life."
When you repress, you distort the mind's emotional accounting process. To let you know that the emotional calculations are being distorted, the mind sends out a pain signal.
The pain is the mind's way of telling you, "You're trying to misrepresent the emotional balance sheet. I'm going to send you pain until you honestly acknowledge your emotional inventory."
Think back to your last failed attempt at overcoming addiction. For most people there is a phase when the desire becomes so painful they can't cope with it.
That pain is not from the addictive desire. It's from repressing.
-The mind needs to give you accurate data to help you make decisions:
Your ability to make decisions is a life-or-death matter. To make sure you survive and emotionally prosper, when the mind encounters repression it sends a pain signal to let you know that your decision-making process is dysfunctional.
The mind is trying to tell you, "How can I help you make decisions if you won't let me give you all the data? Stop trying to lie to yourself. Your survival is at stake. If you die, I die!"
Review your failed attempts to stop and you'll probably notice that returning to your addiction felt like you could live your life again. You may have even felt calm and comfortable even though you knew the addiction was a major cause of stress in your life. The reason you felt calm and comfortable was that by returning to your addictive behavior, you relieved the stress of repression.
In summary:
Repression is an attempt to distort awareness by consistently excluding from consciousness a thought or feeling you decide is a threat.
To protect itself from distortion, the mind sends out pain signals when it encounters repression.
The pain of repression can be greater than the pain of acting additively.
To relieve the pain of repression, you return to the addiction.

SPIRIT HUSBAND!!!

I’m going to be very frank here with you ladies. Many of you can’t find a man or meet a decent guy because you have extremely unholy sinful practices in your life that God is not pleased with. And the practices are limiting His ability to help you find a suitable mate.

When you get the chance today: go home, empty out your favorite drawer (you know the one I’m referring to), and throw every last one of your sex toys away. In fact, don’t just trash them: take hammer and utterly destroy t. lest you be tempted to retrieve them from the garbage can. This goes to all those toys and movies. If you are storing movies on your computer, phone, take your computer some where safe and clean off your hard drive. If you have books in your collections that stir up lust and drive you to pleasure yourself, dump those books too. Get rid of any and everything in your possession that causes you to sin sexually. Including certain type of music.

Here are actual spiritual entities that become attached to woman through ungodly sexual and spiritual activity. And once they attach themselves they prevent the woman from being able to sustain a meaningful normal relationship with a man.

Spiritual husband won’t share you with any other man. They will however share you with other woman (hence the proliferation of lipstick lesbians and bisexuality among female today). But they will drive all decent men from your life, force you to remain alone until you die. Because you have inadvertently give yourself to a spirit husband.

Many time a spirit husband becomes attach through fooling around with the occult. And yes that includes horoscopes, sex signs or star charts. The bible strictly forbids such activities because they are open pathways to the demonic realm.

Some of you have even met your spiritual husband. He shows up periodically in your dreams making love to you while you slept at night, causing extreme terror as he squeezes the breath out of you.

Some one reading this knows exactly what I’m referring to. The only way you can get rid of spiritual husband is through bona-fide repentance. You have to close the door to the thing. And you do it by renouncing the very practices that led the door to open in the first place. Find a real man of God to conduct deliverance to cast out the spirits behind it. Then to submit your life to a higher powerful masculine force: I’m talking about Jesus Christ. Jesus name carries major weight in the realm. All spirits, good or bad must bow in respect to His greater authority. Once you attach yourself to his name, and keep the principles you will be free.

Get free so you can live free and find the relationship you desire. 

Come with your spiritual and physical case and God will settle it

At No 16 Azuka Extension Ogbor Hill Aba Abia State, Nigeria. AkA (Favour Team Int’l Ministries) • You can also contact our Ambassadors +2348065648925, +2347036586879 E-mail nolongertwo2015@gmail.com

BEING GAY... (The Roberta Laurila Story)

Right from the day of my birth, there was a hint of future problems. When my mother first saw me, she expressed her love for me, then remembered she only had a boy's name chosen. Thus Robert became Roberta.

During childhood, my mother's heart condition and crippling arthritis kept her from doing the usual things with me that my friend's mothers did. I became a loner and a daydreamer. At the age of eight, I was imitating everything my older brother did, from smoking cigarettes to dating girls.

IN LOVE

When I was ten, I "fell in love" for the very first time with my lady school teacher. This crush lasted for three years until our paths separated when I began my freshman year in high school. My heart was grieved until I met a beautiful brunette in my class and new love sprang up in my heart. Of course I couldn't speak of this love to anyone. I began to realize that somehow, I was different. My whole being cried out to love and be loved. Living with my secret longings through those teen years was so difficult.  

I tried being like my friends and began dating young men when my father would allow it. When he wouldn't, I became angry and rebellious. I built a bad reputation for myself and as the small town tongues began wagging, I started withdrawing, antagonistic toward all.

ABUSE

My Christian mother was very patient during those years, but my father was under conviction for not accepting the Lord. His cursing raged out of control nearly every night as he verbally abused my mother. These times sent me into a rage. It was during this time in my life that I decided no man would ever treat me like that.

I also rejected my father for getting mom pregnant again. She was in ill health and she hadn't wanted another child. I had also heard many stories of my father's first wife dying at childbirth and that filled me with fears of having children. No way was that for me.

Then at sixteen, my "steady" boyfriend tried to rape me. That event really confirmed to me that sex was filthy and an abomination.

TWO MARRIAGES

After high school, all my girlfriends were getting married. I became fearful of being left out. In desperation, I gave in to my brother's suggestion to meet one of his friends, twelve years older than myself. In less than three months, I married this man whom I didn't even love. After two years, I divorced him and began writing to a man in the Armed Forces who had loved me before my marriage. The decision to marry him came when I learned he would soon be going to Germany in active combat. I could receive an allotment check and wouldn't have to live with him. What a farce! Less than two years later, he came home and I soon divorced him. 

Not long after, the Holy Spirit began to convict me of my sin. I had attended tent meetings in a Pentecostal church when I was a child and marched to the front night after night to get saved. But I'd given it all up when I realized I couldn't be good in the days following. 

When I began to feel pangs of guilt, this made Satan angry. Soon after, I was introduced to a lesbian who had been in that lifestyle a long time and knew the ropes. She was a bad influence on me and soon I began drinking, which I had never done. The second night, she invited me to spend the night with her. I began meeting other lesbians and partying far too much. Not long after, I was fired from my job.

I soon met a girl who was my "type" and we lived together for eight years. Because of the guilt and drinking, my fits of jealousy and temper became uncontrollable. Then I left my first friend and began living with another. After a year I nearly killed her in the car after drinking too much wine. Needless to say, she left me for good.

SALVATION

I was home alone the afternoon of October 7, 1955. With fear and panic in my heart, I made the decision to take my own life. I was too ashamed to commit myself to an institution to find help for my troubled mind. Pride was still very much alive, even though I thought I was beyond help. I wondered how to call my friend to ask for her forgiveness. I wanted so much to be forgiven, but it seemed out of the question.

I started for the kitchen to turn on the gas jets. I had already had a few drinks to try to give me courage. Just before I entered the kitchen door, I fell to my knees in front a chair. With tears streaming down my face, I cried out, "God forgive me. God forgive me!'

Only later did I realize that I was saved at that moment. The Holy Spirit came to live within me, and began leading me in ways that confirmed my salvation. But in rebellion, I still held onto my old friends.

I had two lesbian relationships after my salvation. "God doesn't expect me to "quit loving women," I reasoned. Of course, I couldn't stop without supernatural help. And I didn't have anyone else to help. This was years before God raised up former homosexuals to begin ministries. 

Ten years after I received Jesus Christ as my Savior, I was still living in sin. God began allowing me to feel the consequences of my rebellion. I could not have survived the trauma that followed without the Lord's care and mercy. God allowed the devil to pour out his wrath in such a devastating way. I still shudder at his trickery. With demonic signs and wonders, Satan convinced me that God wanted me to live with another woman while involved in Christian ministry.

The climax came following the suicidal death of a dear friend whom I had betrayed. It was from that shocking emotional experience that my stubborn will was broken. I promised God that I would not let her death be for nothing. Then came the vision.

THE VISION

While living in what seemed to be a hell on earth with my lover, God came to me one night. I was alone and in deep despair, The Lord gave me a spiritual vision of a worldwide ministry. This outreach would reach homosexuals who wanted a close relationship with Jesus Christ and who wanted to be set free from their sin.

As the vision unfolded, I knew God was saying I must leave this lifestyle forever. I was to begin interceding for Him to raise up individuals from the gay lifestyle and others, truly called by Him, to begin specific ministries to homosexuals.

Six years after the vision, God directed me to write my personal testimony of deliverance from lesbianism. My story entitled "Gay Liberation" was published in book form in 1975. It was the first of its kind and not many bookstores would accept it, due to the subject, which was "hush-hush" at the time.

INTERCESSION

Much has happened since that time. While I continued to intercede, God began calling forth former gays to minister. God has blessed my friendships with many of the "pioneers" in the Exodus movement, such as Frank Worthen, Robbi Kenney, Ed Hurst, and others. I have been blessed also to see many ministries begin in foreign soil. What a wonderful God He is! 

God has kept me at a low profile. At times, I have rebelled concerning this. But deep down, I know I was called to intercede for others to be led by the Holy Spirit into the entire world.

Even as I write these words, tears are flowing down my cheeks. Surely God will complete His perfect plan to reach the many millions of the lost who have been so rejected and lonely so many years. I weep for the church, blinded by the enemy so it cannot see the need to teach gays. So many Christians cannot truly believe that God can set these people free. My great desire now is to reach those in the gay church. I am believing God to also work a miracle there.  Our God reigns!