I recently read something about the ancient sport of falconry (in the devotional “Our Daily Bread”), which reminded me of this issue. While hunting wild game, men often use(d) trained hawks and falcons. However, as Mart De Haan explained:
“When the ‘educated predator’ was allowed to fly, it often rose too high for human eyes to see. So a hunter often carried a small caged bird called a shrike. By watching the antics of the little bird, the man could always tell where his hawk was, for the shrike instinctively feared the predator and cocked its head to keep it in view.”He went on to say,
“Christians desperately need an alert perception similar to that of the shrike to detect their spiritual enemy. Our adversary ‘walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour‘ (1 Peter 5:8). Our responsibility is to be sober and vigilant. In other words, we are to be always on the alert.”Then Mart posed these thoughts:
“It would be nice if God had giant sirens to warn us of an attack by the devil. But He doesn’t operate that way. Instead, we must read the Bible regularly, meditate on its truths, maintain a prayerful attitude throughout the day, and be filled with the Holy Spirit.”I thought about how this applies to marriage. When someone writes us, we often can see evil at work to cloud his or her vision of the reality of what’s really going on and the implications that can occur if they don’t wake up. Repeatedly, we’ve wanted to sound an alarm that screams, “Open your eyes, you’re falling into the deceptions of the enemy of our faith.”
We do our best to warn people through these Marriage Messages and all we have posted on our web site but it just doesn’t seem to be enough. So for the rest of this message we’d like to share something more, hoping it will serve as a wake-up call for those who need it. In your marital relationship please recognize that:
The enemy of our faith works in subtle ways within marriages to get us to grab onto false beliefs (LIES) to destroy our relationships. Are you falling into any of the following traps?
• Couples, who are
marrying, are led to believe that their love is so “unique” they won’t
have the same struggles others experience. When problems arise,
confusion and disillusionment follows.
• The false message is
promoted that “love should come naturally” so those who struggle in
their marriages believe something is wrong if they have to put extra
effort into making it work. Falling in love is heavily emphasized, yet
doing what it takes to STAY in love is too often neglected.
• When love is new,
couples grab onto the false idealism that their “love will conquer all.”
They don’t realize that God’s love and His Word applied in their
relationship is TRULY what is needed.
• The idea is promoted
that Christians “shouldn’t have problems.” For that reason many couples
are embarrassed to admit it when problems arise, and then they hesitate
to reach out for help. When they do it’s often “too late” by the world’s
standards to save their marriage.
• Many couples become
busy in doing so many “good” and “necessary” things that their priority
to nurture their relationship is overlooked. A great number of spouses
fall into the false idea, that they can neglect the needs of their mate
and he or she will “be fine” or “just understand” (even though those who
are considering marriage are told differently in God’s word in 1
Corinthians 7).
• The “world’s” ideas
of marital love are being pushed to the extent that spouses are adopting
them as a type of compass for guiding their thoughts and actions
—neglecting God’s way of living with and loving each other (as told
throughout the Bible).
• During conflict, the
enemy of our faith works to divide couples so they get so
single-mindedly involved, that they fight as if HE or SHE is the
“enemy.” Sadly, this tactic works. The need to listen to and pray with
each other, extend love, grace, and forgiveness is too often neglected.
• In this world, it’s
not difficult to fall into the trap of continually focusing on the other
spouse’s “faults.” Any positive qualities and actions can be
overshadowed and not noticed, as a result.
• When things get tough
and temptations reach their peak, how quickly and readily spouses can
be led to forget and abandon what they vowed to each other and God on
their wedding day.
• Some spouse’s buy
into the lie that “one time” won’t hurt, even though it does. Some
spouses also rationalize the lie that because he or she is hurting so
badly, solutions to cheat and do that which they shouldn’t is
acceptable. Wrong! Cheating is never right, no matter what the excuse.
• The idea is being fed
to people that “God wouldn’t want them to be unhappy.” He or she then
feels entitled to leave the marriage for the sake of his/her happiness
(which is unbiblical).
• People are led to
believe that if he or she doesn’t “feel” love for his or her spouse at
this time, that’s the way it will always be “from this day forward”
(which research shows to be untrue). God, whose very name means LOVE can
teach willing partners how to truly love one another.
• Many spouses are so
caught up in their own relationship problems they neglect seeing that
their children are witnessing the way they interact with each other.
From this vantage point, with added lies from the enemy of our faith,
children then “learn” how to mistreat their own spouses.
• The lie is promoted
that forgiveness is for fools. This causes spouses to forget the grace
of God and to neglect God’s Biblical message to “forgive others as God has forgiven you.“
• The truth is not
emphasized that marriage is a living picture of Christ’s love for the
church. How we show love to each other can impact a world of people
(including our children) that desperately need to see God’s TRUE LOVE
lived up front and real, within Christian marriages.
We hope that if you recognize any of these falsehoods being held onto
in your own marriage, you will get on your knees together (if possible)
and pray that God will help you to “renew a right spirit within you.”
God cares very much about your marriage. (And so do we!)Please know that our love and prayers are with you,
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